Adapting to Life with Cancer: How to Cope When Your Loved Ones are Diagnosed with Cancer

Receiving a cancer diagnosis can be life-changing – not just for the person being diagnosed, but their loved ones as well. Although the survival rate of cancer in Australia is on the rise, it is estimated that 49,000 people will die from cancer in 2021 and over 100,000 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed. 

It is imperative that a person who has received a cancer diagnosis recently be adequately supported through their treatment journey. There is evidence to prove that patients who are emotionally supported through treatment have a higher quality of life and better outcomes. 

What to Expect When A Loved One Is Diagnosed With Cancer?

Cancer diagnoses are difficult for everyone – most of all the person receiving the diagnosis. Many cancer patients have reported feelings of anxiety, grief, and anger. Supporting your loved one through this time is imperative. While everyone responds differently to a diagnosis, you can expect your loved one to experience mood swings, panic attacks, and they might even blame you for their diagnosis. It is important to understand that these emotions are normal and valid, and not an attack on you as a person. 

Survivors have described the moment they received their diagnosis as “Earth shattering” and that it changed the course of their lives. Many survivors have credited their remission to the emotional support they received from loved ones and support groups. It is critical to offer emotional support to your loved ones immediately after their diagnosis by letting them know that you will be there for them and offering to do their favourite activities with them to maintain a sense of normalcy. 

It is crucial to look out for signs of depression and anxiety in your loved ones, as these are extremely common after a diagnosis. This is particularly important if your loved one has a history of mental health issues. A cancer diagnosis can exacerbate existing mental health issues and may require intervention from a professional. Particular things to look out for could be sudden changes in mood, spending long periods of time in bed, and a lack of motivation. 

Physical and Emotional Changes When Diagnosed With Cancer

People living with cancer can experience a number of physical changes – some related to the cancer itself and others being side effects of a particular treatment. Some of these changes may have begun to manifest as symptoms before the diagnosis, whereas others may only begin to appear after. It is important to be respectful and supportive of your loved one during these changes – particularly in regards to appearance as they may be the most jarring. 

Many people who have cancer will lose a large amount of weight – this can be due to a lack of appetite, frequent vomiting, or even physical limitations such as mouth sores or fatigue. Typically, it is best to encourage your loved one to “catch up” on meals when they are energetic in order to maintain their energy level throughout the day. Stocking up on foods that your loved one enjoys and ensuring that foods they enjoy are always available to them is a great way to encourage them to eat as well. 

It is common for people who have received a cancer diagnosis to grieve and experience a host of negative emotions, including anger, anxiety, and hopelessness. It is important to watch out for the warning signs of conditions such as anxiety and depression in your loved one and ensure they are well-supported after receiving their diagnosis. 

Check in with your loved one frequently and reassure them that you will be there for them no matter what. Continue to engage in activities you enjoy, while being mindful of any limitations they may have – physically or cognitively. It is important to ensure that your loved one continues to feel that they have a strong relationship with you and can engage in activities as they did before the diagnosis. Most importantly, it is important to not reveal information about their diagnosis to others unless they have consented for you to do so. Preserving your loved one’s agency when revealing their diagnosis is crucial to maintaining a sense of self-worth, particularly for such a life-changing condition.

Cancer Treatment Planning 

Radiation Therapy 

Radiation therapy is one of the main treatment methods for cancer. Beams of energy – usually X-Rays – are used to kill cancer cells and prevent them from multiplying. Due to the unspecific nature of the energy beam used, there is a possibility of healthy cells being damaged as a result of radiation therapy. However, healthy cells are generally able to heal themselves from the damage. 

Radiation therapy can be used on its own for many types of cancers, including benign growths. Radiation and chemotherapy can sometimes be used to destroy cancer cells completely. It can also be used to reduce the size of tumors before surgery. People with terminal cancer can benefit from radiation therapy as it can help to reduce pain or other discomfort associated with late-stage cancer.

The side effects of radiation therapy depend on the part of the body receiving radiation. Generally, patients experience hair loss and skin irritation at the treatment site. Radiation therapy is also known to cause fatigue, and patients have reported that the fatigue tends to worsen as the treatment proceeds and does not improve with rest. These side effects tend to disappear when radiation is stopped. In rare cases, radiation therapy has led to the growth of a new cancer on the body long after treatment has concluded. Your loved one’s doctor will be able to advise the risks of this happening with your loved one, and steps you can take to prevent this from happening.  

Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy is a drug-based treatment that aims to kill cancer cells which reproduce at a much higher rate than most healthy cells. Chemotherapy can be used as a standalone treatment for some cancers, or as a final treatment to kill “hidden” cancer cells in others. In people with terminal cancer, chemotherapy can provide some relief by killing cancer cells. Like radiation therapy, chemotherapy can also be used to shrink a tumor before operation or other treatment methods. 

There are many drugs that are used in chemotherapy, and different drugs have different side effects. Some drugs have little to no noticeable side effects, while others can cause severe symptoms such as nausea, hair loss, and mouth sores. Most side effects tend to ease after the chemotherapy is stopped. However, some people have reported late side effects such as tissue damage to the organ that was treated, infertility, and nerve damage. 

Your loved one’s doctor will be able to advise them about any potential side effects that may occur during and after chemotherapy, and speak to them about the drug they will be receiving so your loved one will be able to do their own research before treatment. Support your loved one with their research by reading up on the drug that was suggested and seeking potential alternatives. The American Cancer Society and Cancer Research UK have great resources about the drugs that are used in chemotherapy. 

Cancer Support Groups

Sometimes, your loved one may just want to hear from someone who’s been where they are now. Support groups are a great way for people with cancer to meet others who have been diagnosed, as well as draw inspiration from survivors and their loved ones. Many support groups, particularly those run in hospitals or outpatient clinics, are facilitated by a clinician with knowledge and experience in cancer management, and will be well-equipped to provide your loved one with support. 

Some groups also invite researchers or medical professionals to present research about emerging treatment techniques in the field, and their efficacy. They could also identify opportunities for your loved one to participate in clinical trials for a specific intervention if they wish to do so. The hope and camaraderie that these groups provide cannot be found anywhere else, and many cancer survivors have credited their support groups for supporting their road to recovery.  

Cost of Cancer Treatment 

Many Australians are under the impression that medicare covers most expenses for cancer treatment and that little to no out of pocket expenses will be incurred, but this is not always the case. If you are undergoing treatment at a private healthcare provider, you may need to pay gap fees as the Medicare rebate does not cover all treatment costs. Even at public hospitals, some aspects of care can be outsourced to private professionals – your loved one will have to pay some out of pocket costs no matter what kind of provider they choose. 

Generally, your loved one’s care team will discuss the cost of treatment and the associated expenses and obtain informed consent before commencing treatment. If you are attending meetings with your loved ones care team, you can ask about the health professionals who will be involved in your loved one’s care, their roles, and the costs of each procedure your loved one will be undergoing and when they need to be performed. This provides you both with a deeper understanding of how you need to budget over the course of your loved one’s cancer treatment journey. 

If your loved one has private health insurance, it would be wise to set an appointment with their insurance provider to discuss what their insurance plan covers in terms of treatment costs, and what out of pocket expenses you may potentially incur. The Cancer Council has a list of questions that you can ask your insurer that your loved one can use as reference. 

Conclusion

Supporting a loved one with cancer can be a complicated and draining process. It is important to take time for your own self-care and not become bogged down with compassion fatigue, which can impact your ability to fully support your loved one. It is beneficial for you and your loved one to be optimistic about the outcome of treatment, as this has been shown to improve the results of treatment. With the rates of cancer survival in Australia on the rise, there are plenty of reasons to be hopeful.

Provide the best care to your loved one today!