Supporting Your Loved Ones Who Has Experienced Amputation

Amputations are life-changing and will significantly impact an individual’s self-esteem, social interactions and ability to live independently. Losing a limb is an emotional and traumatic experience, and after an amputation, people may struggle with intense pain, experience ‘phantom limb phenomena’, and require ongoing rehabilitation. Supporting a loved one through an amputation can be emotionally and physically challenging for everyone involved. To help you, as you help someone with limb loss, we outline quick facts about amputation and 10 ways you can support an individual who has experienced an amputation. 

What is amputation and what causes it? 

Amputation refers to the loss of a limb or surgical removal of a body part due to a traumatic accident, medical illness, or surgery. People may have experienced amputation or loss of a limb for a variety of reasons. Here are some of the causes of amputation: 

Traumatic amputation

Resulting from an accident or injury, traumatic amputations account for around 45% of all amputations. Traumatic amputations occur when a limb is cut off, torn or damaged from a motor accident, serious injury or severe burns. 

Accidents or situations that cut off blood flow to a part of the body, resulting in the loss of a limb, are also referred to as ‘traumatic amputations’.  

Surgical amputation

In some cases, amputation may be necessary when a part of the body is significantly diseased, damaged or dysfunctional. Surgical amputation is the process of removing the affected part of the body to prevent an infection from spreading.

Congenital amputation

Individuals born without a limb or incomplete body part experience congenital amputation. An individual with congenital amputation may choose to live with a prosthetic limb later in life as part of their rehabilitation and recovery. 

Diseases or health concerns

Common diseases and health conditions such as type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure can cause constricted blood flow throughout the body. In severe cases of diabetes, arteries in the lower body can become blocked, cutting off blood flow. Alarmingly, Australia has the second highest rate of amputations resulting from type 2 diabetes in the world with data indicating that more diabetes accounts for more than 8,000 lower limb amputations every year in Australia. 

Other health concerns such as chronic vascular problems and peripheral arterial disease can lead to poor blood circulation and ultimately cause tissue damage. The reduced blood flow and nutrients can cause tissues in parts of your body to become infected or die. When left untreated, infections can spread to the body causing further harm and significant bodily risk. 

Cancer-related amputation

Types of cancer can affect bone tissue or limbs in the body. Medical professionals may advice a cancer patient to remove a limb to prevent the spread. Cancer-related amputations account for less than two per cent of cases. 

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding an individual’s amputation, losing a limb is a traumatic experience that others can struggle to comprehend. To support someone experiencing amputation or living with the loss of a limb, learning how to empathise with them is an important skill to practice. 

10 ways to support someone who has lost a limb

From everyday tasks to relationships, amputation impacts an individual in a myriad of seen and unseen ways. Understanding the emotional and physical effects of amputation is the first step to helping someone cope with the loss of a limb. Here are ten ways to support someone who has experience amputation:  

1. Create a pain management strategy  

After the surgical removal of a limb, pain in the wound can persist for up to five days. Asking an individual about their pain and seeking the advice of a medical professional to create an appropriate pain management strategy can be a practical way to support someone in need. 

A pain management strategy can include a mixture of pain relief medication, ongoing physical therapy (such as hydrotherapy, massages and rehabilitation exercises), mind and body techniques (such as acupuncture, breathing techniques) and more. 

‘Phantom limb pain’ is also a common experience after limb loss. Individuals may describe some pain or discomfort in the amputated limb. The experience of ‘phantom limb pain’ can range from mild to severe, and if it persists, consult a medical professional.

2. Ask the right questions

Taking time to learn about amputation can help you understand the physical experience of a loved one, but it’s also important to understand how amputation has changed someone’s life. Amputation and limb loss requires a significant life adjustment. 

With humility and empathy, ask questions about what life looks like after an amputation and how you can best support them. Asking thoughtful and intentional questions can empower someone who has experienced limb loss and provide them with an opportunity to voice their story.

3. Practice patience on the healing journey

Recovery and rehabilitation after limb loss can be a life-long adjustment. Healing from traumatic amputations can also involve counselling and ongoing therapy. 

Recovery is not a linear process so practice patience as you support a loved one who may be learning how to readjust to basic activities. It can be incredibly frustrating to relearn daily activities and rely on someone to help with everyday tasks. Don’t rush someone’s healing journey and provide plenty of support as they navigate new ways to work, socialise or move around.

4. Know the emotional effects

Everyone copes with tragedy and loss in different ways. Losing a limb is a devastating loss for many, and can trigger feelings of grief in the same way as losing a loved one. Grieving can be difficult and painful. There are various stages of grief – some may experience all the stages of grief while others may revisit a stage stay in one stage for longer. There is no time limit to grieving and the process can’t be rushed. Knowing the stages of grief and identifying the elements of each stage can help.

5. Five stages of grief

1. 1. Denial
      

      A common coping mechanism, denial helps people numb the pain and emotions of the situation. Denial can be expressed as nonchalance or avoidance, but as an individual progresses through the stage of grief, the hurt and emotions underneath can begin to surface.

       

   2. Anger
      

      In this stage of grief, anger works to mask the intense pain and hurt caused by the situation. Anger can be directed at people, inanimate objects, and expressed as bitterness or resentment.

       

   3. Bargaining
      

      Grief can cause people to feel vulnerable or helpless to situations around them. By bargaining, people attempt to feel more control over a painful situation. This stage of grief can be expressed by ‘what if’ or ‘if only’ statements.

       

   4. Depression
      

      This stage of grief can look different for many people. Some may choose to isolate and disengage to cope with overwhelming feelings of loss, while others may experience brain fog and confusion. This stage of grief is when an individual processes and reflects on the loss.

       

   5. Acceptance
      

      Gradually, an individual will accept their situation and begin to reconstruct their new way of life after experiencing hurt and loss. 

Throughout the grieving process, extend compassion, empathy and care to help someone acknowledge their feelings and give them permission to express negative emotions about the loss of a limb. 

6. Create a daily routine 

Every part of an individual’s life after an amputation will look and feel vastly different. Modifications to a daily routine will be required to account for changes in mobility and workspaces. New adjustments to the home or office, such as a handrail for wheelchair lift may be required to help with accessibility. There can be a lot of new changes to an environment. 

Just as the environment around you changes, spend time with a loved one to discuss meaningful goals and create a new daily routine that centres on what excites you about life.

Having a daily routine can create rhythm and structure after a traumatic event, helping you and your loved one look forward and press on. Think about ways you can incorporate fun activities in your daily routine such as contacting a friend, playing board games or listening to a podcast. 

Try this: create multiple playlists together with your loved one – add songs that get you excited for the day, podcasts you want to listen to and audiobooks. 

7. Find support and listen to personal stories

Leaning on others for support is a proactive way of processing pain, gaining fulfillment in life and moving forward. The experience of limb loss or amputation can be frightening and full of questions, and knowing you are not alone is a huge comfort during a difficult time. 

Hearing about the experiences of other amputees or access to networks of people who can provide you with further information or listen to you as you discuss your fears and concerns, can be incredibly helpful to the healing process.

You can find videos of personal stories from amputees on Limbs4Life, or look out for local support groups or join event groups on Facebook or Meetup.com. 

8. Know what not to say

A large part of supporting a loved one who has lost a limb is knowing what not to say to them. Too often, well-meaning people can say cliche phrases that do more harm than good. Claiming that you understand their experience or telling someone who is grieving to ‘look on the bright side’ can often come across as ingenuine. 

Avoid potentially hurtful comments by avoiding the following 8 phrases: 

1. “You’re such an inspiration.” 
2. “I know someone who lost an arm/leg. I understand…”
3. “Let me do that for you.”
4. “It’ll get better soon.” 
5. “Look on the bright side of life.”
6. “At least you still have another arm/leg.”
7. “At least you’re alive.”
8. “Others are not as fortunate as you” .

In some instances, the fear of saying the wrong thing can cause people not to say anything. Speaking with empathy and respect towards someone who has lost a limb is the best way to start. If you do say something hurtful or unintentionally offensive, be honest and genuine in your apology. 

9. Have resources and stories on hand 

From publications to travel tips, these following organisations can provide a plethora of resources for you to learn and support a loved one: 

• Limbs4life.org.au/
• Limbs4kids.org.au/ 
• Amputees NSW 

10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help 

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Before or after amputation, it’s more than acceptable to ask for professional support as you care for a loved one. Whether it’s mobility assistance, occupational therapy, psychology or counselling services or a day-to-day living support, there are plenty of professional services that can help alleviate your load and help you care for a loved one. 

Did you know? Homage connects you to licences nurses, trained caregivers and local support workers to provide your loved one with access to the support they need to lead an independent life. Connect with us today. 

Look after yourself too!  

It can quickly become mentally exhausting and consuming to look after a loved one who has lost a limb. As you support and care for the needs of an individual who has experienced limb loss, it’s important not to neglect your own emotional and physical well-being. 

“Self care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” – Unknown.

Don’t forget to spend time doing what you love, communicate with friends and family about your emotions, and stay fit and healthy. 

How Homage can help

At Homage, our care professionals can provide you and your loved ones with a range of support. From the day-to-day activities such as meal preparation, transport and light housekeeping, to personalised care such as post surgery care and wound care, our trained carers are here to help. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support someone with amputation.